I'm here. Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. No. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. [Steve has just fallen off the tree and onto the Coopers' pet Doberman, Damien. [faints]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Harriette Winslow: Abrasive? Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. So, is it all right with you? You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. [leaves]. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows! Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. And I'm sorry. So long! Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" You know that? Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! Carl Otis Winslow: All right. I'm playing Boyd double or nothing. Sorry. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . [stares at the racist cop] Black. He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. Laura: Just let me fall! But I recognized him right away. Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. This isn't my grandmother. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. What is the value of X? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Ooh, that's nice! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. Carl: What? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. Upload. Is that the problem? "Tomorrow, Dad!" You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. "Take out the trash, Edward." Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. Get down from there! Forget it, Steve. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! We should put those pictures in the school paper. Why, how low can you get? Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? Harriette Winslow: Yeah. This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl, you lazy slug! Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Old money has more wrinkles! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. [reading] "Mongu! Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. I'm not your personal doormat. YOU'RE WHERE? Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? We were just having a little fun. Laura: Where did you get the money for this? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? Stefan Urquelle. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! Harriette Winslow: Carl, I save every card you give me. Stefan Urquelle: You can take a bus or an airplane. Steve Urkel: Hey, you gotta get up if want to get dow oh [guests scream as Steve falls off the edge of the roof]. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. 12. r/Unexpected. Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Rachel Crawford: Right. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Raoul is the new produce manager. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. Just as I thought. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Me and Laura went ice skating together. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Steve Urkel: I bought two tickets to a concert that Laura wants to go to and offered to take her as my, get this, date! Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Harriette Winslow: But, apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way, so be it. CNN Actor Jaleel White is joining the growing list of celebrities who have launched a cannabis brand. Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. Well, why didn't you tell me? Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. I wish I'd never done it. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Laura: I was thinking about taking a home economics class so I can learn how to cook. You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Steve Urkel: 'Standardized Urkel Elementary Math Exam'. I'm going home! And him. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? They help move along our sentences. Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. Harriette: I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a home economics class. Well, name a couple. I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. I'm in college. Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. Just you and me. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Steve Urkel: Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. Ordinarily, I like a table right next to the water. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? We're getting dirty looks from old people! Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. 1. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Carl Otis Winslow: [Takes the money from Eddie] I love you son. Waldo: [pause] Wow! How did you know? Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? It's late. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? No Traffic. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. It meant a lot to me. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. A few minutes ago, I just saw Laura and I fanted. You kissed me. She just slipped and I caught her. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. And from that day on, EVERYBODY could use that library. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. Doo da doo da. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [shocked] And he brought hooters! He's a lawyer! Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Can't see a darn thing. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, your old man's read a book or two. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? Then we par-tay, see no problem. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well of course it's a Greek party, it's a sorority! Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Can you believe that? This has never happened before. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Was I about to take the Big Sleep? Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! I'm going to give you an 'A'. [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. Steve Urkel: A little? Come here, let me give you some sugar. Steve Urkel: Could. Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. Carl Otis Winslow: Ohohoho and they are personal and private. I didn't kiss you. Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? Waldo, you may go now. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: What'cha gonna do, Willie? [to self] WOW! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. People just love juicy gossip! Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Richie Crawford: I can break all this stuff. Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. A heart that hurts. Our limo awaits. What about it, Steve. Wow, are you wearing a bra? Why, it'll ruin my transcript! We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Steve Urkel: [Pointing to the floor] Him. There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. He's having the same discussion with his father. Laura: [running in] Guess what? Five hundred on the line. Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. From now on, no parties and no TV. Eddie: No, grandma. I'll teach you. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. Donna Santangelo: And get this, Urkel's tuxedo fits! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. [poins to the part on Harriette's diary] Aha, it's over with me and Raoul. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. I wanna show you something. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Steve Urkel: Practice. Quotes.net. Didn't you? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. Muskrat Time! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Reading, 'Riting and Racism? [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. I got a nosebleed at birth. Why would somebody do this to me?' Topics Nerd. Harriette: Come on, sweetie, let's get you home and then I can put some antiseptic on those cuts. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. Did I do that? This causes Steve, Waldo and Weasel to leave and Eddie laughs nervously]. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. That's Lt. Murtaugh. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. I love my Army. Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Carl Otis Winslow: That boy is Looney Tunes. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit? Waldo: I got close once. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. She lived a long and full life. Let me tell you something though Weasel. Carl Otis Winslow: After you left, I saw your boy Fresh Squeeze at the door. He held operations in Chicago. Can you help me out? I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. It's always tomorrow with that boy! Laura: Science class. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Waldo put today's date on the flyer. Eddo. Let's keep this one! Steve Urkel: So, you used me! Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Rachel Crawford: I'm what? So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. Laura: For the last time, Steve. Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: over and over and over. Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Heapingly, overflowingly, full! [Grabs and kisses her. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. 2023. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. Can you carry me home? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. I wouldn't know what to charge. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. Why would anybody want to kill her? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. I just caught her, that's all. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? Refresh my memory. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Carl Otis Winslow: No. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Okay, first question. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Waldo: Sure you have. Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, when are we leaving? Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! [Urkelbot throws robber into a pile of soupcans]. Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Harriette Winslow: [Opens the candy box] Candy missing. Boyd broke my glasses. Carl: Rough. I was just talking with your grandmother. You're late for class. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. You gotta fix that machineeeee. Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Rachel Crawford: Oh. Carl Otis Winslow: Hello. What's for dinner, milk and cookies? Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. [laughs] But you never smile! No, you're not invited. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. No phones. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. You're always sorry. Anybody have more punch? Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Waldo Faldo from Illinois. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. For that matter why isn't everybody? Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Eddie didn't have to come back here and confess. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. You've been saying it for weeks. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Hey Steve, would you like a breast? Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. I'm drawn to you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. In the latter half of Family Matters, Steve started staying with the Winslows as his parents didn't want him around. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. They help move along our sentences. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Laura: Let me tell you something. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Get me a cherry slurpy! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I was thinking you could help me during the test. Mango? Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Laura: By being born first. How about the next round we switch colors? "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother? You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight.
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